Alcohol changes your brain on a biological level. Over time, drinking can wear down the mental and emotional resilience needed to change your habits. This can become like a feedback loop, keeping you stuck in cycles of drinking. Fortunately, there are ways to break out of this and take back your power.
Have you ever woken up with a crippling hangover, swearing off alcohol, only to find yourself reaching for a glass of wine later that same day? We’ve all been there. It's important not to be hard on yourself, as the reason this happens is not purely from a lack of self-control... Alcohol changes your brain on a biological level. Over time, drinking can wear down the mental and emotional resilience needed to change your habits. This can become like a feedback loop, keeping you stuck in cycles of drinking. Fortunately, there are ways to break out of this and take back your power. It can be helpful to become aware of the impact of drinking on your brain and how it can keep you trapped. Let’s take a closer look…
How Alcohol Changes Your Mind
When you’re out with friends sipping on your favorite craft beer, it can be easy to forget that you’re actually ingesting a toxin. Alcohol can cross the blood-brain barrier, meaning that it can directly affect the health of your brain. Studies show that heavy drinking can damage existing neurons and prevent the growth of new ones. Over time, it can even shrink the size of your brain.(1) Alcohol may also damage the hippocampus, which is the area of the brain responsible for storing memories. Over time, this can lead to forgetfulness, less clarity, and an inability to focus.(2)The purpose of this information isn’t to scare you, but to help you understand the huge impact alcohol can have on your brain. If you think about it, your brain affects your entire perception and experience of reality. In a sense, alcohol is hijacking your mind. So if you’re having a hard time controlling your drinking, it's important to seek support. The good news is that this damage is reversible. The miracle of the human body is that it's self-healing when given the right conditions. Taking a break from alcohol allows your brain to repair itself, leading to brain growth and improved brain function.1
How Alcohol Causes Cycles of Anxiety
Many believe the myth that alcohol is a quick cure for anxiety – and for good reason. In the short term, a buzz is an easy way to calm your nerves. But the reality is that drinking can actually worsen your baseline levels of anxiety over time. At first, alcohol can feel relaxing because it temporarily boosts the neurotransmitter, GABA. Over longer periods of time, a drinking habit can actually lead to a deficiency of GABA.(3) This may actually cause a feedback loop. As alcohol depletes GABA and increases anxiety, many will cope by reaching for another drink for temporary relief. This further worsens the GABA deficiency, digging you deeper into a pit of stress.
Hangovers are another way that alcohol can affect mental health. There's actually a scientific reason behind that feeling of hangxiety. Hangovers increase activity in the areas of the brain responsible for anxiety and panic attacks.3 If you’re particularly sensitive to alcohol, these effects can last for days. Frequent drinkers may not notice this as the increased anxiety has become their new normal.
By taking a break from alcohol, you will no longer be swimming upstream against its stress-inducing effects on your brain. Many notice that their baseline level of anxiety drops, simply from removing alcohol.
How to Take Back Your Power
At first, it can feel like an uphill battle to try to quit or cut back on drinking. It’s so important to have self-compassion and remind yourself that this is a normal part of the journey. When you experience stress or negative emotions, it may feel habitual to reach for a drink. Learning alternative coping skills will help carry you through these cravings. As your alcohol-free journey goes on, it will get easier. The longer you refrain from drinking, the more your brain is able to rebalance and repair itself. This will allow you to face stressful situations and cravings with more and more ease.
Over time, you will find that you are strengthening your own innate resilience. This is something you’ve always had inside of you, but alcohol has temporarily robbed you of. These benefits will extend beyond sobriety, as you can use that power to create new habits and life changes. In the initial phases of quitting drinking, it is so important to have adequate support in place. That’s what we’re here for. At Reframe, our approach is based on an awareness of neuroscience.
Learn fun tips and tricks for having a successful and fun alcohol-free vacation from Reframe ambassador, Chelsea.
Do you desire to travel alcohol free, but don't know how to be proactive? This guide dives deep into tips & tricks based on my personal experience. Learn what you should do, confidently, before traveling AF.
Take time to research where you are staying, where you want to dine, where you want to explore, everywhere. If you are staying at a hotel/resort, typically they want to accommodate your lodge. Tell them your favorite non-alcoholic beverages to supply in the fridge. It is also important to ask the host to remove any alcohol from the room.
If you can pack your favorite non-alcoholic beverages, depending on where you are traveling, do it! Ask your favorite beverage brand if they have travel size options. Make sure to pack tight & safe to avoid breakage.
Establishing your mindset before the trip is a priority. You need to choose to be alcohol free, mentally & physically. This decision will set the trip tone. Create a mantra about your alcohol-free choice that you can reference, during the trip, when you are experiencing a craving or just need to read it as a gentle reminder.
Routines nourish and enhance your AF journey and habits can help support your cognitive function, too. The brain learns to anticipate habits and routines, and with disturbance, the brain becomes quickly overwhelmed. Restlessness & boredom is a result of a lack of structure. Example of ways you can create a routine, even while on vacation: Keep your sleeping and eating habits the same or similar. Get exercise and movement in, even if it's just a good stretch. Spend personal time exploring this new place. Stay connected to AF support through sober instagram or the Reframe chat forum.
If you are traveling to a country where they speak a different language, it's best to learn how to say "I am sober" or "I am alcohol free" in that language. This will help you feel more confident when exploring & dining out.
If you can bring an alcohol-free companion, do it! If not, have your support companion or group ready to text or call, during a time you need to connect with someone. A daily check-in is great to add to your routine. It will help establish your alcohol-free mindset each day.
It is important to stick to your AF plan. What is in your AF toolkit?
Here are some ideas:
- Find a local meeting or support group
- Craving Redirect
- Support System
- Meditation
- Gratitude Journal
- Podcast (Make sure you tune into Reframe's podcast, The Dry Life)
Explore! Keep your mind busy with activities and adventure, but not too busy that you are creating stress on your mind and body. Creating a schedule with activities will help prevent you from experiencing boredom and therefore, less time to think about filling it with alcohol.
And lastly, keep it fun! : )
By Chelsea Monroe | Mixed Without
Learn how to cope with different life stressors without alcohol.
Did you know that 78% of Americans feel stressed at least one day in a typical week - and 15% feel stressed every single day? As we get older and take on greater responsibilities, stress is an emotion that becomes more and more prevalent in our lives. It’s important to have coping mechanisms to deal with stress because too much long-term stress (also known as chronic-stress) can lead to various health problems including high blood pressure, heart disease, diabetes, and even cancer. In fact, studies have shown that stress can be more harmful to the body than smoking. With greater demands and responsibilities, coupled with the endless stream of information we take in on a daily basis, it’s no wonder that people often turn to alcohol to self-medicate and quiet the brain in times of high stress.
The problem is, drinking alcohol doesn’t help with feelings of stress, it only masks them. Not to mention, relying on alcohol to cope in times of stress can lead to alcohol dependence. If “I need a drink” has been your auto-pilot reply to all stressful occurrences in your day-to-day life, you’re not alone. Read on to discover five ways to deal with stress without alcohol.
If stress has you anxious, tense, and worried, consider trying mediation. Spending even just a few minutes in mediation can help you restore your sense of calm and inner-peace. By focusing your attention inwards and away from the situation that is causing you stress, meditation can help you gain a new perspective. The exciting part about mediation is that you can practice it wherever you are; whether that’s out for a walk or in between difficult meetings at work. The Reframe app offers guided meditations for those new to the art and may need some guidance.
2. Breathwork
Have you ever noticed how much better you feel after taking a deep breath? Focusing on your breath is a powerful tool that can help you ease stress and feel less anxious. There are so many different types of breathworks that can aid in the reduction of stress including:
Whichever breathwork method you choose, try to not overthink it. This will only cause more stress.
3. Movement
People enjoy drinking alcohol during times of stress because it leads to the release of dopamine in areas of the brain that produce pleasure and reward. But, did you know you can acquire those same "feel good" hormones with movement and light exercise? Moving your body in any way whether that’s through walking, dancing, stretching, or exercising can ease muscle tension and induce positive feelings. Next time you’re feeling particularly stressed, try getting up from your chair and moving your body! You’ll be amazed at how much better you’ll feel afterwards.
4. Get a Good Night’s Sleep
When we are well rested, our capacity to cope with stress is much better than if we’ve slept poorly. Some tips for making sure you get a good night’s rest include going to bed and waking up at the same time daily, avoiding caffeine and alcohol, and incorporating movement into your day.
5. Reach Out to Others for Support
If you feel as though stress is consuming your life enough to the point where you are self-medicating with alcohol, try reaching out to a loved one for support. You are not alone in this journey and chances are, there are other people in your life who are feeling the same way. In order to reduce the stigma surrounding mental health, we need to be okay with being open and honest about how we’re feeling. Talking to someone who understands what you’re going through can help reduce your stress and anxiety.
Now that you have some tools under your belt for managing stress, take the next step and download Reframe to help you remain motivated, supported, and accountable.
When on your journey to drink less or quit drinking entirely, one of the most common concerns you may have is “How will I celebrate without alcohol?” And who can blame you? Popping champagne bottles and pouring ourselves a drink has been our default way to celebrate.
When on your journey to drink less or quit drinking entirely, one of the most common concerns you may have is “How will I celebrate without alcohol?” And who can blame you? Popping champagne bottles and pouring ourselves a drink has been our default way to celebrate.
If you are on a journey to reevaluate your drinking, and you’re worried about how to celebrate moving forward, you are not alone. Life is full of momentous occasions that are worth celebrating; we've just had to figure out a way to commemorate them in a different way.
Read on to discover some tips on how to celebrate without alcohol...
Oftentimes, when we are celebrating a birthday or the end of the long week, we pour ourselves a drink because “we deserve it” and we frame alcohol as a "reward". If you really break this thought down, however, what are you really telling yourself that you deserve? In our case, drinking alcohol leads to spotty memories and waking up feeling guilty and hungover. Is that really what you deserve after achieving a goal or turning a year older? You are a person who has accomplished some pretty amazing things and you deserve so much more than waking up with a hangover or an increased chance of cancer. Focus on enjoying your time spent with friends and family, being in the present moment, and remembering it all. THAT’S what you deserve.
One of the best things we can do when we're feeling doubtful on our journey is to remind ourselves that there was once a time that we didn’t need alcohol to enjoy yourself. Think about your childhood birthday parties where the only thing on your mind was cake, friends, and fun! You didn't need alcohol then, and you certainly don't now that you’re older.
It’s pretty fair to say that people often time have more fun at other people’s parties and celebrations than at the ones they’re hosting themselves. That’s because as hosts, we’re too busy replenishing the snack bar, topping off people’s drinks, and making sure everyone else is having a good time to really focus on ourselves. The belief “I can’t celebrate without alcohol” based on the belief of the expectation of other people, not ourselves. Other people expect you to celebrate with alcohol, so you believe that alcohol is a requirement. However, it’s important to remember that this celebration is about you and you deserve to do something that will make you feel good! If this means cancelling the party with 20 of your closest friends and family then so be it! Try asking yourself, “What would I really enjoy doing in this moment to celebrate?” and do that instead.
You can expect the majority of booze-free celebrations to be challenging in the beginning. After all, you’ve spent years believing that alcohol is needed in order to celebrate and have a good time, and these thoughts likely won’t just go away overnight. However, experiencing awkwardness does not mean you’re doing anything wrong. Embrace the awkwardness and recognize that it’s all a part of your growth. It takes time to unlearn a habit, so show yourself compassion and leave early if you're not having a good time.
Just because you aren’t drinking alcohol does not mean you have to drink water and soda. Try mixing up some fun mocktails for you and your guests, or sip on some fun, pre-made beverages.
A couple of our favorites are Daytrip Sparkling CBD Water and Curious Elixirs!
Unfortunately, our societal understanding of a “drinking problem” is very polarized. In the eyes of society, you either have a drinking problem...or you don’t. However, the societal acceptance of alcohol has blurred the line between what it means to drink responsibly and drink recklessly...
Very few things in this world are black and white; your fitness level, your mental health, and your political ideologies all fall along a spectrum. The same goes for your alcohol use, yet many people don’t see it that way.
Unfortunately, our societal understanding of a “drinking problem” is very polarized. In the eyes of society, you either have a drinking problem...or you don’t. However, the societal acceptance of alcohol has blurred the line between what it means to drink responsibly and drink recklessly. This creates a grey area of drinking that lies between hitting rock bottom and being a functional drinker. The issue with this is that even the definitions of “rock bottom” and “functional drinker” are arbitrary and vary from person to person. One person’s idea of a responsible drinker could be the same as another person’s idea of someone who is out of control.
The term “alcoholic” often perpetuates this black and white thinking. It’s important to remember that there is no chart or test that can determine whether or not you are an “alcoholic” or have an Alcohol Use Disorder. Sure, you can take those “Am I an alcoholic?” quizzes on Google, but even those often end with the phrase, “do not consider this a proper diagnosis.”
However, these quizzes and tests can be a good benchmark for determining your drinking habits, or for determining if you fit the criteria for having an alcohol use disorder. But, it’s important to remember that the decision to quit drinking is entirely up to you and no matter what the internet tells you, you decide whether or not alcohol is serving you and if you want to make a change.
The point is, you don’t need to identify as an alcoholic to want to cut back or stop drinking alcohol. You don’t even have to hit “rock bottom” or be at your “lowest low”. You are allowed to question your relationship with alcohol at any time and make the necessary changes that will help you feel your best.
Now that we understand how drinking habits lie on a spectrum, it’s important to realize that sobriety lies on a spectrum as well. There is no one, all-encompassing definition of “sobriety.” Some people think that being sober means abstaining from any and all mind-altering substances (including antidepressants and antipsychotic medication). While others call themselves sober if they are abstaining from alcohol, but not other drugs like prescribed medications or even marijuana. The point being- the amount of definitions are endless and sobriety can mean whatever you want it to mean as long as you are living a lifestyle that keeps you happy, healthy and safe.
Don’t let the world’s polarized idea of what it means to have a “drinking problem'' or to be “sober” deter you from questioning your relationship with alcohol. You are allowed to question any and all actions you take, at any time; whether that means total abstinence, moderation, or harm reduction. No matter where you fall on the spectrum, you deserve informed consent to make the decision that is best for you.
Picture this: you’ve spent the last few days/weeks/months/years working hard to maintain your sobriety and evolve in the best way possible and then, one night, something leads you to drink. You convince yourself that you're a failure who’s just thrown away all of your progress. When you finally get past the shame and guilt and want to commit to sobriety once more, you are not sure where to start.
Picture this: you’ve spent the last few days/weeks/months/years working hard to maintain your sobriety and evolve in the best way possible and then, one night, something leads you to drink. You convince yourself that you're a failure who’s just thrown away all of your progress. When you finally get past the shame and guilt and want to commit to sobriety once more, you are not sure where to start.
If this sounds familiar, you are not alone. Slips occur in almost one-third of recovering alcoholics during their first year of sobriety. A slipis a common part of recovery and does not mean you should give up being sober.
Here are some things you can do to begin the journey back to sobriety and move forward after a slip.
Slips don’t just happen randomly, although it may seem like it at first. All slips are caused by something whether that’s a trigger you are aware of, or one you haven’t ever considered. Take some time to reflect and identify what caused you to take that first sip. Was it a stressful situation, like a fight with a family member? Was it a strong craving that was acted upon because there was alcohol in the house?
By identifying our triggers, we can be prepared for the next time they arise and feel confident that we overcome them without alcohol.
Now that you have identified your triggers, it’s important to put a plan in place for what you are going to do the next time you experience them. If you slipped because of stress, have a list of coping mechanisms you can do to relax during periods of high stress. If you slipped because you were craving a drink, make sure you have good alcohol alternatives in your house (like kombucha or NA beverages) that will help satisfy the craving for the time being. After all, the average craving only lasts about 20 minutes. As long as you distract yourself for that period of time, the worst part will be over.
In addition, it’s important to identify things that aren't currently serving you in your recovery plan. Some people find that the time after a slip is a great opportunity to take a new approach to their recovery. Recovery is not a one-size-fits-all project which is why it’s important to find what will work best for you.
It may feel natural to hide from the world after a slip, overcome with feelings of guilt and shame. However, the only thing that feels worse than slipping is slipping alone. Use this time to connect with others who can support you in your time of need. Reframe’s forum or community meetings are both great ways to connect with others who know how you’re feeling and who can offer words of support and encouragement. You can also take advantage of Reframe’s one on one Thrive Coaching where you’ll have the ability to talk with a certified recovery coach or licensed mental health professional at the click of a button.
Again, it’s common to experience feelings of shame and guilt after a slip. While these feelings may initially motivate you to want to make a change, they will not help you in the long run. Instead of wallowing in your regret, try to view your slip as a learning experience. Think of it as something you had to go through in order to come out stronger and smarter on the other side.
Whether you want to drink less to reach your fitness goals, or you know that you could nail that work promotion with fewer hangovers, or you suspect that alcohol is holding you back from your creative endeavors, it makes sense that you might be interested in learning how to cut back on your drinking.
Whether you want to drink less to reach your fitness goals, or you know that you could nail that work promotion with fewer hangovers, or you suspect that alcohol is holding you back from your creative endeavors, it makes sense that you might be interested in learning how to cut back on your drinking.
And because alcohol is a chemical substance with high habit-forming properties, sometimes we find ourselves knowing that we want to cut back our drinking without knowing exactly how to to do that.
While there's no one silver bullet for drinking less, here are some things you can implement right away that will help you feel more satisfied with your relationship with alcohol:
I know, I know—this can feel near impossible. But hear us out. There's a strong correlation between mental/physical energy and our drive to drink alcohol, and we know that when we can better preserve our body battery, we're more equipped to skip the glass of wine.
One way to do this is to minimize your decision fatigue. Every small choice we make throughout the day whittles away our battery, just a little. Instead of burning 5 minutes in the morning trying to decide what to wear, lay your clothes out the night before. (Or better yet, get rid of most of your clothes so there's less to choose from!) Eat the same thing for lunch every day. Stick to a predictable routine. These are small ways to reduce your overall stress and help you drink less.
It can be easy to underestimate how much we're drinking. When you use Reframe to keep track of how much you're drinking, you can get a clearer picture of patterns and overall volume. (And don't forget to measure your drinks—a standard glass of wine is only 5 oz!)
When we decide to cut back on our drinking, we can feel like the only ones drinking less in a boozy world. But when we connect with others who are improving their lives by changing their relationships with alcohol we feel less alone and it feels more possible. Through a private forum with a vibrant community, Reframe provides the connection with others that you need to thrive.
At Reframe, we teach you how to reduce your alcohol consumption with a neuroscience approach. If you've decided it's time to change the way that alcohol is showing up in your life, there's an app for that.
Reframe is the #1 alcohol reduction app, built to help you drink less and live more. Whether your goal is to cut back or quit drinking entirely, Reframe’s neuroscience approach can help you change the way alcohol shows up in your life.
With a core 160-day, evidence-based, education program, progress tracking, a private community, and a multitude of tools (think meditations, games, and more!), you’ve got everything you need to change your relationship with booze at the click of a button.
Need extra support? Uplevel your alcohol-free or alcohol-reduction journey with Reframe’s premium Thrive Coaching and get 1:1 access to a certified recovery coach, live coaching calls, and a curated video library.
Download Reframe for free and Reframe the way you think and drink.
Each week we publish a story written by someone from our Reframe community, sharing how changing their relationship with alcohol impacted their life far beyond the bottle. We believe in the validity of all paths and value the diverse experiences of our Reframe community.
When I was younger, my friends would say that I was a lesbian when I was drunk.
I assumed it was because my first kiss was with a female friend. Or because at high school parties, I kissed way more girls than guys. Or because when I got to college, I found myself fitting in more with the frat boys, unable to connect with many of the women on my campus.
Eventually, people started telling me I was bisexual. When I was drinking, I happily accepted this label that had been thrust upon me. Aided and abetted by alcohol, I dove into my newfound sexuality. From the way I talked and behaved, you would have thought I was excited and proud to be bi. And I was. For a little while.
But deep down I was desperately confused.
My relationship with alcohol made everything in my life messy. It blurred lines that shouldn’t have been blurred and created divides where there shouldn’t be any. I thought alcohol was opening my eyes up to the truth: that I wasn’t straight. I thought getting drunk was freeing me and allowing me to find out who I was. In reality, it was the opposite.
If you want to figure out who you are, blacking out and not remembering who you hooked up with, or if you even liked them, is not helpful. Booze was a security blanket that kept me smothered and trapped. My relationship with alcohol kept me scared of sober interactions that might have led to clarity instead of confusion.
I had accepted this label (“bisexual”) that no longer felt right. Something important was missing. I didn’t know if I wanted to date women, befriend them, or if I feared them. I didn’t know if I liked hanging out with guys because I was attracted to them, or because I wanted to be them. It would take me years to realize it was a little of everything.
The change happened when I got sober. Not at first. At first, I was just struggling to exist. But when things calmed down and I slowly got used to living without alcohol, I began to revisit my earlier questions: Who was I? Where did I belong in this community? People in sober spaces would call me “girl” or “lady” and I began to realize that those words made me pause, made me consider them deeply. I came to realize that those gendered words were making me hesitate because I didn’t consider myself to be a part of them.
It’s hard to discover your truths, to discover your real self, when your brain is constantly being drowned in a drink that encourages self-doubt, depression, and anxiety. After almost a year of sobriety I realized I was struggling because I was focused on my sexuality and ignoring my gender. That’s when I discovered I was nonbinary.
A nonbinary or genderqueer person is someone whose felt gender doesn’t fit with socially constructed norms for their biological sex. Every person is different, but the similarities seem to be that most people like me feel a persistent unease with being associated ONLY with the binary gender. There’s a whole host of ideas and information about the intersection of sexual orientation and gender identity. I can only speak for myself and say that I am happy to consider myself nonbinary and leave it at that. It doesn’t erase my sexuality; it encompasses it.
Some days I feel masculine, others I feel feminine, but most days I feel like someone entirely else. Someone that is just…separate from the gender binary. My biology is female, and I do present as femme (though as I explore this part of myself that might change), but it was such an overwhelming relief to accept this other part of myself that had been squished under layers of booze for years. The they/them side of me was finally allowed to breathe, and it has been beautiful to explore that.
This is what sobriety has given me: Clarity on who I am.
I’ve always felt like a spork; somewhere between both genders, able to work well as either, but not completely identifying as one or the other. Sure, I might look like a spoon, but the truth is I find myself comfortable being a fork as well. Or even better, acknowledging that the spork might be an entirely new third option. Maybe the spork doesn’t want to be seen as an amalgam of spoon and fork; maybe the spork wants the freedom to be any way they want to be.
Maybe they want to be beautifully undefined.
Saratoga Schaefer (they/she) is an author, community builder, and creative. You can find their poetry collection Beautiful After Breaking on Amazon and connect with Saratoga on Instagram at@the_sober_climb, @boozelessbookclub, and @theselkieshoppe
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