Learn how to cope with different life stressors without alcohol.
Did you know that 78% of Americans feel stressed at least one day in a typical week - and 15% feel stressed every single day? As we get older and take on greater responsibilities, stress is an emotion that becomes more and more prevalent in our lives. It’s important to have coping mechanisms to deal with stress because too much long-term stress (also known as chronic-stress) can lead to various health problems including high blood pressure, heart disease, diabetes, and even cancer. In fact, studies have shown that stress can be more harmful to the body than smoking. With greater demands and responsibilities, coupled with the endless stream of information we take in on a daily basis, it’s no wonder that people often turn to alcohol to self-medicate and quiet the brain in times of high stress.
The problem is, drinking alcohol doesn’t help with feelings of stress, it only masks them. Not to mention, relying on alcohol to cope in times of stress can lead to alcohol dependence. If “I need a drink” has been your auto-pilot reply to all stressful occurrences in your day-to-day life, you’re not alone. Read on to discover five ways to deal with stress without alcohol.
If stress has you anxious, tense, and worried, consider trying mediation. Spending even just a few minutes in mediation can help you restore your sense of calm and inner-peace. By focusing your attention inwards and away from the situation that is causing you stress, meditation can help you gain a new perspective. The exciting part about mediation is that you can practice it wherever you are; whether that’s out for a walk or in between difficult meetings at work. The Reframe app offers guided meditations for those new to the art and may need some guidance.
2. Breathwork
Have you ever noticed how much better you feel after taking a deep breath? Focusing on your breath is a powerful tool that can help you ease stress and feel less anxious. There are so many different types of breathworks that can aid in the reduction of stress including:
Whichever breathwork method you choose, try to not overthink it. This will only cause more stress.
3. Movement
People enjoy drinking alcohol during times of stress because it leads to the release of dopamine in areas of the brain that produce pleasure and reward. But, did you know you can acquire those same "feel good" hormones with movement and light exercise? Moving your body in any way whether that’s through walking, dancing, stretching, or exercising can ease muscle tension and induce positive feelings. Next time you’re feeling particularly stressed, try getting up from your chair and moving your body! You’ll be amazed at how much better you’ll feel afterwards.
4. Get a Good Night’s Sleep
When we are well rested, our capacity to cope with stress is much better than if we’ve slept poorly. Some tips for making sure you get a good night’s rest include going to bed and waking up at the same time daily, avoiding caffeine and alcohol, and incorporating movement into your day.
5. Reach Out to Others for Support
If you feel as though stress is consuming your life enough to the point where you are self-medicating with alcohol, try reaching out to a loved one for support. You are not alone in this journey and chances are, there are other people in your life who are feeling the same way. In order to reduce the stigma surrounding mental health, we need to be okay with being open and honest about how we’re feeling. Talking to someone who understands what you’re going through can help reduce your stress and anxiety.
Now that you have some tools under your belt for managing stress, take the next step and download Reframe to help you remain motivated, supported, and accountable.
Now more than ever, the world is seeing more and more celebrities and influencers speak out about their decision to cut back or eliminate alcohol from their lifestyle. What was once thought of as a "trend" has become a permanent change for many.
Now more than ever, the world is seeing more and more celebrities and influencers speak out about their decision to cut back or eliminate alcohol from their lifestyle. What was once thought of as a "trend" has become a permanent change for many.
As a society, we are becoming more aware of what our lives could be like, in the absence of alcohol, and many of us are ready to take the plunge! However, changing your relationship with alcohol can be DAUNTING, and not everyone is ready to dive in head first, especially if this is the first time you’ve ever thought about breaking up with booze.
Find comfort in knowing that you don’t necessarily have to quit drinking cold turkey right away, or even for good. This is a process that will take practice and a bit of getting used to. If you feel totally lost, and don’t know where to start, here are 5 simple ways you can start to change your drinking habits.
1. Stock up NA (non-alcoholic) options.
It’s easy to fall into the habit of picking up a bottle of wine while at the grocery store “just because”. Instead of buying more booze this weekend, try stocking up on some non-alcoholic options instead. Kombucha, sparkling water, and even 0.0% APV Beer can help quench your thirst and satisfy those cravings. It’s much easier to avoid the temptation of drinking when you limit the amount of alcohol you have in the house and keep alternative beverages on hand instead.
2. Try a dry challenge.
Many people drink because it’s a habit and because they’ve never had a reason not to drink. Challenges like #1000hoursdry or #SoberSeptember are a great way to break out of this habit and begin re-evaluating your relationship with alcohol. In fact, 82% of people who did a boozeless challenge say they drank less amounts of alcohol for up to a year after the challenge. Plus, telling people you are participating in a challenge is a great way to get them off your back when you tell them you aren’t drinking.
And it doesn’t have to just be in January or September. Here’s a list of challenges you can use for every month of the year!
#DryJanuary
#FeelFantasticFebruary
#ModerateMarch
#AbstinenceApril
#MissionNoBoozeMay
#DryJuly
#AbstemiousAugust
#SoberSeptember
#SoberOctober
#NoAlcoholNovember
#DontDrinkDecember
3. Plan boozeless activities.
Weekends can be a big trigger, so planning ahead and having things to do can really help change your drinking habits. Plus, going alcohol-free is the perfect time to try activities that you’ve always wanted to, but never had the time for because you spent your weekends drinking. Whether that’s taking a hike, doing some self-care, or staying in for a movie night, taking alcohol out of the picture allows you to be present and enjoy where you are.
4. Hang out with other non-drinkers
If you’re trying to cut back on your drinking, being around others who are drinking can make the process even more difficult. Instead, try to surround yourself with other people who find joy in doing things that don’t involve alcohol. You may even find that their habits and attitude will rub off on you!
5. Find new coping skills.
Besides social drinking, some of us may have other reasons we drink, like dealing with stress or negative emotions. Coming up with a solid list of healthy coping mechanisms can help when you’re feeling like you want to reach for the bottle. Meditation, movement, art, or journaling are all amazing places to start.
Now that you have some simple tools under your belt, take the next step and download Reframe to help you remain motivated, supported, and accountable.
When on your journey to drink less or quit drinking entirely, one of the most common concerns you may have is “How will I celebrate without alcohol?” And who can blame you? Popping champagne bottles and pouring ourselves a drink has been our default way to celebrate.
When on your journey to drink less or quit drinking entirely, one of the most common concerns you may have is “How will I celebrate without alcohol?” And who can blame you? Popping champagne bottles and pouring ourselves a drink has been our default way to celebrate.
If you are on a journey to reevaluate your drinking, and you’re worried about how to celebrate moving forward, you are not alone. Life is full of momentous occasions that are worth celebrating; we've just had to figure out a way to commemorate them in a different way.
Read on to discover some tips on how to celebrate without alcohol...
Oftentimes, when we are celebrating a birthday or the end of the long week, we pour ourselves a drink because “we deserve it” and we frame alcohol as a "reward". If you really break this thought down, however, what are you really telling yourself that you deserve? In our case, drinking alcohol leads to spotty memories and waking up feeling guilty and hungover. Is that really what you deserve after achieving a goal or turning a year older? You are a person who has accomplished some pretty amazing things and you deserve so much more than waking up with a hangover or an increased chance of cancer. Focus on enjoying your time spent with friends and family, being in the present moment, and remembering it all. THAT’S what you deserve.
One of the best things we can do when we're feeling doubtful on our journey is to remind ourselves that there was once a time that we didn’t need alcohol to enjoy yourself. Think about your childhood birthday parties where the only thing on your mind was cake, friends, and fun! You didn't need alcohol then, and you certainly don't now that you’re older.
It’s pretty fair to say that people often time have more fun at other people’s parties and celebrations than at the ones they’re hosting themselves. That’s because as hosts, we’re too busy replenishing the snack bar, topping off people’s drinks, and making sure everyone else is having a good time to really focus on ourselves. The belief “I can’t celebrate without alcohol” based on the belief of the expectation of other people, not ourselves. Other people expect you to celebrate with alcohol, so you believe that alcohol is a requirement. However, it’s important to remember that this celebration is about you and you deserve to do something that will make you feel good! If this means cancelling the party with 20 of your closest friends and family then so be it! Try asking yourself, “What would I really enjoy doing in this moment to celebrate?” and do that instead.
You can expect the majority of booze-free celebrations to be challenging in the beginning. After all, you’ve spent years believing that alcohol is needed in order to celebrate and have a good time, and these thoughts likely won’t just go away overnight. However, experiencing awkwardness does not mean you’re doing anything wrong. Embrace the awkwardness and recognize that it’s all a part of your growth. It takes time to unlearn a habit, so show yourself compassion and leave early if you're not having a good time.
Just because you aren’t drinking alcohol does not mean you have to drink water and soda. Try mixing up some fun mocktails for you and your guests, or sip on some fun, pre-made beverages.
A couple of our favorites are Daytrip Sparkling CBD Water and Curious Elixirs!
Unfortunately, our societal understanding of a “drinking problem” is very polarized. In the eyes of society, you either have a drinking problem...or you don’t. However, the societal acceptance of alcohol has blurred the line between what it means to drink responsibly and drink recklessly...
Very few things in this world are black and white; your fitness level, your mental health, and your political ideologies all fall along a spectrum. The same goes for your alcohol use, yet many people don’t see it that way.
Unfortunately, our societal understanding of a “drinking problem” is very polarized. In the eyes of society, you either have a drinking problem...or you don’t. However, the societal acceptance of alcohol has blurred the line between what it means to drink responsibly and drink recklessly. This creates a grey area of drinking that lies between hitting rock bottom and being a functional drinker. The issue with this is that even the definitions of “rock bottom” and “functional drinker” are arbitrary and vary from person to person. One person’s idea of a responsible drinker could be the same as another person’s idea of someone who is out of control.
The term “alcoholic” often perpetuates this black and white thinking. It’s important to remember that there is no chart or test that can determine whether or not you are an “alcoholic” or have an Alcohol Use Disorder. Sure, you can take those “Am I an alcoholic?” quizzes on Google, but even those often end with the phrase, “do not consider this a proper diagnosis.”
However, these quizzes and tests can be a good benchmark for determining your drinking habits, or for determining if you fit the criteria for having an alcohol use disorder. But, it’s important to remember that the decision to quit drinking is entirely up to you and no matter what the internet tells you, you decide whether or not alcohol is serving you and if you want to make a change.
The point is, you don’t need to identify as an alcoholic to want to cut back or stop drinking alcohol. You don’t even have to hit “rock bottom” or be at your “lowest low”. You are allowed to question your relationship with alcohol at any time and make the necessary changes that will help you feel your best.
Now that we understand how drinking habits lie on a spectrum, it’s important to realize that sobriety lies on a spectrum as well. There is no one, all-encompassing definition of “sobriety.” Some people think that being sober means abstaining from any and all mind-altering substances (including antidepressants and antipsychotic medication). While others call themselves sober if they are abstaining from alcohol, but not other drugs like prescribed medications or even marijuana. The point being- the amount of definitions are endless and sobriety can mean whatever you want it to mean as long as you are living a lifestyle that keeps you happy, healthy and safe.
Don’t let the world’s polarized idea of what it means to have a “drinking problem'' or to be “sober” deter you from questioning your relationship with alcohol. You are allowed to question any and all actions you take, at any time; whether that means total abstinence, moderation, or harm reduction. No matter where you fall on the spectrum, you deserve informed consent to make the decision that is best for you.
Picture this: you’ve spent the last few days/weeks/months/years working hard to maintain your sobriety and evolve in the best way possible and then, one night, something leads you to drink. You convince yourself that you're a failure who’s just thrown away all of your progress. When you finally get past the shame and guilt and want to commit to sobriety once more, you are not sure where to start.
Picture this: you’ve spent the last few days/weeks/months/years working hard to maintain your sobriety and evolve in the best way possible and then, one night, something leads you to drink. You convince yourself that you're a failure who’s just thrown away all of your progress. When you finally get past the shame and guilt and want to commit to sobriety once more, you are not sure where to start.
If this sounds familiar, you are not alone. Slips occur in almost one-third of recovering alcoholics during their first year of sobriety. A slipis a common part of recovery and does not mean you should give up being sober.
Here are some things you can do to begin the journey back to sobriety and move forward after a slip.
Slips don’t just happen randomly, although it may seem like it at first. All slips are caused by something whether that’s a trigger you are aware of, or one you haven’t ever considered. Take some time to reflect and identify what caused you to take that first sip. Was it a stressful situation, like a fight with a family member? Was it a strong craving that was acted upon because there was alcohol in the house?
By identifying our triggers, we can be prepared for the next time they arise and feel confident that we overcome them without alcohol.
Now that you have identified your triggers, it’s important to put a plan in place for what you are going to do the next time you experience them. If you slipped because of stress, have a list of coping mechanisms you can do to relax during periods of high stress. If you slipped because you were craving a drink, make sure you have good alcohol alternatives in your house (like kombucha or NA beverages) that will help satisfy the craving for the time being. After all, the average craving only lasts about 20 minutes. As long as you distract yourself for that period of time, the worst part will be over.
In addition, it’s important to identify things that aren't currently serving you in your recovery plan. Some people find that the time after a slip is a great opportunity to take a new approach to their recovery. Recovery is not a one-size-fits-all project which is why it’s important to find what will work best for you.
It may feel natural to hide from the world after a slip, overcome with feelings of guilt and shame. However, the only thing that feels worse than slipping is slipping alone. Use this time to connect with others who can support you in your time of need. Reframe’s forum or community meetings are both great ways to connect with others who know how you’re feeling and who can offer words of support and encouragement. You can also take advantage of Reframe’s one on one Thrive Coaching where you’ll have the ability to talk with a certified recovery coach or licensed mental health professional at the click of a button.
Again, it’s common to experience feelings of shame and guilt after a slip. While these feelings may initially motivate you to want to make a change, they will not help you in the long run. Instead of wallowing in your regret, try to view your slip as a learning experience. Think of it as something you had to go through in order to come out stronger and smarter on the other side.
Whether you want to drink less to reach your fitness goals, or you know that you could nail that work promotion with fewer hangovers, or you suspect that alcohol is holding you back from your creative endeavors, it makes sense that you might be interested in learning how to cut back on your drinking.
Whether you want to drink less to reach your fitness goals, or you know that you could nail that work promotion with fewer hangovers, or you suspect that alcohol is holding you back from your creative endeavors, it makes sense that you might be interested in learning how to cut back on your drinking.
And because alcohol is a chemical substance with high habit-forming properties, sometimes we find ourselves knowing that we want to cut back our drinking without knowing exactly how to to do that.
While there's no one silver bullet for drinking less, here are some things you can implement right away that will help you feel more satisfied with your relationship with alcohol:
I know, I know—this can feel near impossible. But hear us out. There's a strong correlation between mental/physical energy and our drive to drink alcohol, and we know that when we can better preserve our body battery, we're more equipped to skip the glass of wine.
One way to do this is to minimize your decision fatigue. Every small choice we make throughout the day whittles away our battery, just a little. Instead of burning 5 minutes in the morning trying to decide what to wear, lay your clothes out the night before. (Or better yet, get rid of most of your clothes so there's less to choose from!) Eat the same thing for lunch every day. Stick to a predictable routine. These are small ways to reduce your overall stress and help you drink less.
It can be easy to underestimate how much we're drinking. When you use Reframe to keep track of how much you're drinking, you can get a clearer picture of patterns and overall volume. (And don't forget to measure your drinks—a standard glass of wine is only 5 oz!)
When we decide to cut back on our drinking, we can feel like the only ones drinking less in a boozy world. But when we connect with others who are improving their lives by changing their relationships with alcohol we feel less alone and it feels more possible. Through a private forum with a vibrant community, Reframe provides the connection with others that you need to thrive.
At Reframe, we teach you how to reduce your alcohol consumption with a neuroscience approach. If you've decided it's time to change the way that alcohol is showing up in your life, there's an app for that.
Reframe is the #1 alcohol reduction app, built to help you drink less and live more. Whether your goal is to cut back or quit drinking entirely, Reframe’s neuroscience approach can help you change the way alcohol shows up in your life.
With a core 160-day, evidence-based, education program, progress tracking, a private community, and a multitude of tools (think meditations, games, and more!), you’ve got everything you need to change your relationship with booze at the click of a button.
Need extra support? Uplevel your alcohol-free or alcohol-reduction journey with Reframe’s premium Thrive Coaching and get 1:1 access to a certified recovery coach, live coaching calls, and a curated video library.
Download Reframe for free and Reframe the way you think and drink.
Each week we publish a story written by someone from our Reframe community, sharing how changing their relationship with alcohol impacted their life far beyond the bottle. We believe in the validity of all paths and value the diverse experiences of our Reframe community.
When I first quit drinking one of the hardest things for me to overcome was fear. I was fearful that I’d miss out on experiences. I was nervous to be in situations without alcohol, because I never had to be before. Alcohol was such a big part of who I was. I thought that removing it would change me as a person. I didn’t know myself without alcohol. I worried that my friendships would change or that my marriage would be different. What I didn't realize was that although change is scary at first, over time it gets easier. As time went on, I realized that the changes I was making were going to make my life ten times better. I was going to live a happy and fulfilling life without alcohol.
Something inside of me told me that it was time to remove alcohol from my life. I needed to stop the cycle I was in. I was binge drinking with days of regret, shame, and feelings of worthlessness to follow. I was a new parent and there were days that I felt like I had let my family down. I wasn’t being the mom that my son deserved. I often wondered why I kept doing this to myself. Why couldn’t I drink like everyone else?
It was time to change, so I took a chance and jumped in headfirst.
In the beginning, it wasn’t easy. I worried about missing out or not being fun without alcohol. I took it one day at a time and tried to focus my energy on not drinking. I immersed myself in the alcohol-free community through social media, books, and podcasts. As I built up more time without alcohol, things got a lot easier. I put my energy into being alcohol-free, and I grew into the best version of myself.
I started to feel true joy.
The first place I noticed this joy creeping in was when I spent one-on-one time with my son. With the thinking about drinking getting less and less, I could give him my full attention. Watching him learn about his world and get excited about little things made me so happy. I've been able to feel this overwhelming sense of purpose when it comes to being his mom. I know I’m right where I'm meant to be. I am my son’s whole world, and it’s so nice to be able to show him that he’s mine.
Now, at over three years alcohol-free, I’m thriving as myself. I’m doing things that make me happy because that’s what I find most important. My happiness is mine to create. It takes a lot of work, but nothing worthwhile is ever going to come easy.
Sometimes we get stuck being comfortable. Change can be scary. That fear can hold us back from making changes in our lives. It can keep us from feeling the joy that we deserve. Staying the same is easy, making a change takes work. To create a life that you love, you have to take a chance on yourself, and in the end, you’ll be better off...I promise.
Blair is an alcohol-free wife and mom from Minnesota. She works full-time outside of the home and also does freelance writing. Her writing was recently featured in Scary Mommy, and you can find her creating on IG @sobrietyactivist and on her website www.blairsharp.com
Try Reframe FREE for 7 days, and Reframe the way you think and drink.
Each week we publish a story written by someone from our Reframe community, sharing how changing their relationship with alcohol impacted their life far beyond the bottle. We believe in the validity of all paths and value the diverse experiences of our Reframe community.
On the outside, everything looked fine; great even. I’m the spouse of a United States military officer, a stay-home-home mommy to an amazing little girl, and have lived and traveled all over the country. My family and friends deemed me as “healthy” because of my love for nutrition and exercise, and my personal social media accounts portrayed a picturesque life. I worked out five days a week, ensured my family was eating wholesome meals, and my home was always clean and organized. Furthermore, I read books and articles to learn about potential questionable and harmful ingredients in food, skincare, and household goods, especially after our diagnosis of unexplained secondary infertility. However, our health is so much more than the foods we eat, how much we move our body, and using less-toxic products. Many of us evaluate our health based on the physical aspects, and the mental, spiritual, and social components are often brushed aside, yet they are just as crucial. Moreover, real-life is what goes on behind closed doors; not what our curated Instagram squares portray. I was destroying all aspects of my health day in and day out but made darn sure to keep my secrets hidden—literally. More on that in a minute though.
While social media offers a plethora of benefits, there also seems to be such cognitive dissonance when it comes to alcohol, especially in the “wellness” industry. Health and fitness coaches push their workouts and meal plans but ensure their followers that there’s always room for booze because, you know, life is stressful and we gotta treat ourselves, right? “Clean beauty” advocates encourage others to use safer products (as many ingredients in conventional cosmetics have been linked to fertility issues, neurotoxicity, and even cancer), yet throw parties titled “Masks and Margs”, “Bubby and Beauty”, and “Makeup and Mimosas”. How can we persuade others to purchase less-toxic options because of possible harmful side effects while sipping on a known carcinogen? The "clean wine" movement takes the cake though—and not the organic, low sugar version. Clean wine is nothing but a marketing ploy to lure consumers into believing that removing additives and pesticides somehow makes it healthier. Alcohol is ethanol which is a known carcinogen; there is literally no way to make it any better for us. We also see it outside of social media. Alcohol is handed out at the end of road races and even during yoga sessions. Sip and paint/canvas and cocktail parties became wildly popular, but let’s face it—any type of party is an excuse to drink. And let’s not forget about "mommy wine culture," which not only adds humor to drinking but also portrays it as the answer to dealing with the chaos of motherhood. Quite simply, it validates drinking and also hinders the mothers that feel they may actually have a problem from getting help because things can’t possibly be that bad if so many other mothers are participating in it. Right? So how does my story fit into all of this? While I’ve struggled with binge drinking since my teens, things only got worse throughout adulthood. I tried countless times to make myself become a “normal” drinker and even had a few bouts of sobriety, but there was always a means to an end when I stopped drinking for a specific amount of time. Things eventually progressed to hiding alcohol around the house, scheduling my life around days I could drink or be hungover, and lying to my husband. The morning after I’d drink, I would dispose of my vodka water bottle stash swearing that I was done for good; it was more than just feeling physically sick- I was so ashamed and disgusted with myself. But the following day when I was feeling better, I’d dig through the garbage outside trying to recover them. How could I throw away perfectly good alcohol? I promise myself I’d be done for good after it was gone, then proceed to go cook dinner with organic ingredients, all while secretly sipping on ethanol. This went on for years, and while I know now I was in the depths of Substance Abuse Disorder, I believe that the way society normalizes alcohol, just as in the examples I shared, enabled me to stay on the hamster wheel. I fed into the deceiving information that is marketed as benefits, and I’m incredibly grateful that in the summer of 2019, I finally took off the rose-colored glasses and began seeing alcohol for what it was: a carcinogen that had taken over my life.
On September 17, 2019, I woke up hungover for the very last time and though it hasn’t been easy, it’s been incredibly freeing. I’m not anti-drinking; I’m simply pro-sobriety. I’m a proponent of living authentically and intentionally and have gone from a self-sabotaging closet drinker to living a life less toxic and truly filled with wellness, vitality, and peace. My hope is to open up an honest conversation about what alcohol is and what it is not and challenge others to ask questions such as if it aligns with the lifestyle we’re aiming for or if it’s serving us and how.
Kim Singleton is a mother and military spouse. Kim can be found @kimsingleton.solutions , where she speaks about holistic living and ending the stigmas around recovery and eating disorders. You can also find Kim on @reframe_app on Saturdays, where she hosts "Getting Candid with Kim."
Try Reframe FREE for 7 days, and Reframe the way you think and drink.
Each week we publish a story written by someone from our Reframe community, sharing how changing their relationship with alcohol impacted their life far beyond the bottle. We believe in the validity of all paths and value the diverse experiences of our Reframe community.
Back then, when I used to binge drink regularly, I had the impression that the lifting of my inhibitions meant that this magic elixir was showing me who I truly was. The stressed out, anxious, overthinker could not possibly be the person I was destined to go through life as. No, it made much more sense that I was a fun-loving risk-taker who could charm strangers and gather crowds in bars to hear what I had to say...right? Well, not exactly.
You see, while I may have wanted to not have the thoughts looming over my head (like that I was inadequate and that no one could really like me for me), the solution I chose only led me down a road towards completely losing myself. And, almost losing everything else along the way. While I may have wanted to mask my insecurities by drinking and forgetting them in the moment, what really happened was that I forgot myself and turned into someone I eventually had a hard time seeing in the mirror. While I wanted to be the person who everyone wanted to be around, I turned into the good time party girl who may have been wanted, but in all of the wrong ways.
My binge drinking eventually pushed me to many rock bottoms. I became a manipulative liar...and would brag about how good at it I had become. I had the ability to morph into any character necessary to get my way. I avoided my amazing family and events with them because my priorities lay with finding the next high. As time passed, more legal woes presented themselves. With this came the self-loathing, and while I hated what I had become, I continued to drink and use, to the point it was no longer even appealing, but I did it anyway. I kept myself around people who were just like me. People who had problems just like mine. This was by choice. I didn’t want to deal with anyone’s talk of concern or care.
Finally, my final rock bottom moment hit and with that came the last day I drank. July 28, 2019. This is when the real work began. This is when I had to be brutally honest with those I loved, and also with myself. I admitted to myself that I had major issues and that I wanted to change. At age 42 (then), it was finally time for me to grow up. None of this was easy. Learning how to be an adult when your age is double that of two adults is NOT a simple endeavor. But step by step, I started to see the layers of Kelly peeling back. Things started to look clear. Emotions showed up and I was forced to deal with them authentically. I learned that while this was hard, sitting with the feelings and growing because of them was so worth it. I found out just how strong I really am. I am becoming the mother, daughter, and friend I wish I had been all along.
I am present for the things that really matter. Catching frogs with my daughter. Seeing the sun come up. Hearing birds sing at dawn. Learning what I like and don’t like. Discovering hobbies. Reading books and writing again. Sharing my story...the things that brought me the most shame are now the things that I can proudly put on display because it helps me grow each time I talk about it. And, it potentially helps someone else who could have experienced some of the same things. The fact that I have been allowed the opportunity to make it through all of this and gotten to this point is beyond miraculous to me. Never have I been more grateful for anything more than sobriety—it allowed me to discover who had been inside of me all along. Thanks to living alcohol-free, I can finally, for the first time in adulthood, say that I love myself and my life.
Kelly Belew is a mother and sobriety blogger in Charlottesville, VA. Kelly founded the East Coast Sober Squad and can be found @kelz_is_sober.
Try Reframe FREE for 7 days, and Reframe the way you think and drink.